


Bad Habits

by amarielah



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anakin has issues, F/M, M/M, Missing Scene, Obi-Wan is emotionally stunted, Recreational Drug Use, Sexual Harassment, Unresolved Sexual Tension, together they fight seperatists
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-16
Updated: 2014-04-16
Packaged: 2018-01-19 15:58:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1475638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amarielah/pseuds/amarielah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set between The Clone Wars episodes "Duchess of Mandalore" and "Death Trap". </p>
<p>Some of Anakin's old habits resurface while en-route to an important mission, and Obi-Wan has to deal with it as best he can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bad Habits

Obi-Wan had gotten a bad feeling the moment that Rex had approached him, looking grim.

"I'm worried about General Skywalker," the clone captain had said, without preamble. "He hasn't come out of his quarters in hours."

"That is most unlike him," Obi-Wan had agreed. "Have any of your men gone to check on him?"

"No, sir." Had Obi-Wan lacked refined Jedi senses, he would've missed the very slight stiffening in Rex's shoulders. "If I may, sir: I think it would be best for you to be the one to do so."

Obi-Wan had frowned, bad feeling getting worse. "Is this not the first time he's done something like this?"

Rex had shaken his head. "It's happened a few times before, when neither you nor Commander Tano were on assignment with us. I sent men to check on him once or twice, but...I really think it would be better for you to do it, sir."

Obi-Wan had sighed. "I think I see what you're getting at, Rex. How much longer before we're out of hyperspace?"

"Another fifteen hours, sir."

And that was why Obi-Wan was now in Anakin's quarters, taking in the lingering smell of strong Corellian brandy.

"Really, Anakin?"

Anakin was laying on his pallet, staring dazedly up at the ceiling. "Rex sent you," he said flatly.

"He was quite insistent," Obi-Wan confirmed. He wasn't going to ask what Anakin had done those times Rex had sent troopers in lieu of other options; he was fairly sure he had a good idea already. "I suppose I should ask why you decided to do this while on active command."

Anakin shrugged. "Ahsoka isn't here, and you were busy."

It was a non-answer, but that was par for the course when Anakin was like this. "Speaking of your Padawan: is this really the sort of example you wish to set for her?"

"Can't set an example for somebody who isn't  _here,_ " said Anakin, and there was definitely bitterness in his tone. "Which she would be, if the Council didn't keep giving her assignments without consulting me."

Obi-Wan marveled at the change in Anakin's attitude. Only a few months earlier, and he would have been relieved to be without his young charge for a time. "The Council is only trying to maximize her learning experience," he said. Which was true, from a certain point of view. "She needed to be disciplined after Felucia, in any case."

"Yeah, but that was weeks ago. And she did an amazing job on Geonosis. So why the hell is she with Master Plo right now instead of with me?" Anakin frowned in a way that Obi-Wan hadn't seen in months – the way that was halfway between a scowl and a pout. "They give me Ahsoka, then take the liberty to reassign her whenever they see fit. She's  _my_ Padawan, Obi-Wan. She should be with me unless  _I_  say she isn't."

Obi-Wan resisted the urge to sigh, though he wasn't sure if it would be more directed at Anakin or the Council. His former Padawan knew full well that his attachments were undesirable, so he displaced his agitation at missing his Padawan into annoyance at the Council. And the Council, knowing full well of Anakin's problem with attachment, sought to split up Anakin and Ahsoka far more than was usual during such a fresh apprenticeship...which meant that Anakin wasn't entirely off-base.

The whole thing was ridiculous. Not for the first time, Obi-Wan wondered if Ahsoka should have been assigned to him instead of Anakin after all. In many ways, she was an excellent influence on the young man; certainly, Anakin would've never gotten this inebriated if she were there. And yet, he sensed that Anakin's ever-growing fondness for the girl might prove dangerous.

"You're a capable teacher," said Obi-Wan carefully. "But there are some things she cannot learn from you. Know that she will be by your side again soon, Anakin."

Anakin let out a bitter bark of laughter. "Of course you take their side," he said. "Even though you know I'm right, you just can't bring yourself to admit it out loud."

Obi-Wan felt his annoyance surge, and snapped, "Stop being childish," before he could think better of it. And with the damage already done, he felt he might as well continue. "I'd thought you'd finally come to understand that not every decision made by others that you happen to dislike is secretly a conspiracy against you."

Anakin's anger burned through the Force, though the young man didn't move. "I never said anything about a  _conspiracy_ , Master." His eyes were like ice – accusing.

Obi-Wan sighed, running a hand through his hair. "You're twisting my words."

"Am I," Anakin drawled.

Obi-Wan was very tempted to leave. He'd almost forgotten how insufferable Anakin could be when he got in one of these moods. Especially when it was exacerbated by alcohol.

But he had a bad feeling, and it told him that Anakin needed him right now.

"How much did you have to drink?" he asked.

Anakin lulled his head to the side. "You have no right to lecture me about  _that_ , Master."

Obi-Wan's lips thinned, his brow creasing. "...What else did you take  _with_  it?"

Anakin smirked lazily. "Nothing technically illegal," he said.

Which could be any host of things, and did little to ease Obi-Wan's worries. "I thought you'd outgrown this, Anakin," said Obi-Wan. "Lives depend upon you having a clear head at all times."

Anakin was suddenly sitting upright, all hints a smile gone. "You think I don't know that already?" he yelled. Then, more softly: "I know that I'm  _weak,_ Obi-Wan. That...that I'm not the Jedi I should be." He sighed shakily. "This wouldn't've happened if Snips were here, anyway."

Obi-Wan was almost impressed by the distancing wording of that last bit, but was far more disturbed by the rest of Anakin's words. Outwardly, it seemed as though the war had done nothing to temper Anakin's arrogance. But now it seemed that it had indeed imbued him with insecurities – of the sort that were not at all helpful to anyone.

"It's problematic if you're using her as an emotional crutch, Anakin."

"I'm  _not_ ," he protested. "She's just...my friend, okay? She's smart and funny and interesting to talk to. And she's my Padawan, which means she belongs with me whenever I say she does."

Anakin sounded so very young and petulant at that moment, and it reminded Obi-Wan that it had been less than a year since the Battle of Geonosis. Since Anakin had been a Padawan himself. "And what will you do when she's no longer your Padawan?"

He waved a dismissive hand. "I'll become a Master once she's knighted, and then I can make sure that the three of us remain a team." He gave Obi-Wan a sidelong frown. "If you actually take my side for once, and don't let the rest of the Council bully us."

Obi-Wan almost said:  _there's no guarantee you'll be put on the Council once she's knighted – especially if this kind of behavior persists._ But he thought better of it immediately.

Anakin continued. "That is, if you actually care enough to keep us together. You don't seem to have any trouble discarding people if they come between you and being the perfect Jedi."

Obi-Wan started. "And just what is that supposed to mean?"

Anakin's gaze was accusing. "Tell me: did you ever actually fuck the Duchess, or were you too scared that it would weaken your resolve to abandon her?"

In a very rare occurrence, Obi-Wan found himself at a complete loss for words.

Anakin's eyes were surprisingly focused as he glared at his former Master. "I bet you never fucked her," he said. "I bet you never even  _kissed_ her."

"This is inappropriate," said Obi-Wan, finally. "And what I have or haven't done with the Duchess is none of your business." Truthfully, even through his righteous indignation, Obi-Wan was at a loss. Anakin had seemed  _amused_ by his feelings for Satine, even  _encouraging._ He'd said that she was a "very remarkable woman".

"It  _is_ my business," spat Anakin, who was suddenly on his feet, stalking forward. " _You're_ my business, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan stood his ground, and soon Anakin was less than a step away, standing at his full height – forcing Obi-Wan to look up at him. "What is this really about, Anakin?" he asked, searching the younger man's eyes.

"I heard what you said to Merrik," he said, nostrils flaring. "That you would've left the Order, if she'd just said the word. Was that really true?"

Anakin's emotions were leaking out into the Force, his mental shields completely nonexistent because of the alcohol. (And whatever else was in his system, came the niggling thought at the back of Obi-Wan's mind.) Emotions so tangled that Obi-Wan couldn't pin them down, and imagined that Anakin was having a similar problem. "I'm not sure," said Obi-Wan. "Perhaps. I was young, then – still a Padawan – and lacking perspective." Just as  _you_  do now, Obi-Wan didn't say. He still pretended that he knew nothing of Anakin's relationship with Senator Amidala, for both their sakes.

Anakin reached forward and grasped Obi-Wan's shoulders. "I think I would've liked to meet that Obi-Wan," he said. "The one who actually allowed himself to love with his whole self."

"Anakin..."

"You should go to her, Master," said Anakin, walking forward again, moving Obi-Wan with him. Obi-Wan half expected Anakin to push him out the door, but instead he found himself pushed up against the wall. "I bet she'd let you have her, if you asked." He leaned forward so that his mouth was right by Obi-Wan's ear, warm breath thick with the smell of brandy. "I bet she'd be soaking by the time you got there."

Obi-Wan felt arousal stir in spite of himself, though whether it was because of Anakin's words or Anakin's closeness, he didn't know. In either case, it was disgraceful. "Let go of me, Anakin."

He didn't. Instead, he came in even closer, pressing his body flush against Obi-Wan's. Even through the layers of fabric, Obi-Wan could feel that Anakin was hard. Anakin's lips brushed briefly against the shell of Obi-Wan's ear, the touch shooting straight down to the heat pooling in his belly, and then Anakin said, "What if I told you...that I want you to fuck me?"

"I'd say that you're drunk out of your mind," Obi-Wan replied.

"Doesn't change anything," Anakin murmured. His lips trailed down to the exposed flesh of Obi-Wan's neck. "'ve wanted you for a long time." He nuzzled into crook of Obi-Wan's shoulder. "I love you so much, Master."

Of course, Obi-Wan knew both of those things already. Anakin was not, after all, a very subtle young man. Even though his Jedi training had imbued him with a reticence about stating outright that he felt such intense emotions of attachment, he displayed them in other, no less obvious ways. Lingering, hungry looks, when he and Obi-Wan had still shared a living space together. Friendly touches that lasted longer than was strictly necessary. And a few blacked-out drunken come-ons when he'd been in his final stages as Obi-Wan's Padawan – all promptly rebuffed. In a way, Anakin's preoccupation with the Senator had been a relief, because it proved a better distraction than Obi-Wan could've ever devised himself.

Before the war, he had never been away from Anakin long enough for Anakin to start  _pining_ for him, the way he had for the Senator. In fact, he wasn't sure that Anakin had been aware of the nature of his feelings back then, caught up as he was with his need to be seen as an adult, and his resentment of Obi-Wan's authority over him.

Everything had been so much simpler, before the war.

" _Say_ something," Anakin insisted. "Say..." His mouth was making a damp patch on Obi-Wan's robes. "Say that you love me too."

What Obi-Wan was all too tempted to say was:  _think of Padme_. But it would only start a conversation that he really wasn't ready to have. And besides, Anakin probably had a host of intoxicated rationalizations running through his mind on the matter. Instead, he said, as soothingly as he could manage, "You know I care for you, Anakin. But this isn't really what you want."

"It  _is_ ," said Anakin. "Don't you dare try to tell me what I do or don't want, Obi-Wan. I'm not a  _child_."

"You're certainly acting like one."

He expected Anakin to protest, but instead he said, "Why can't you just say that you love me?"

"Why can't  _you_  accept what I'm willing to give?" asked Obi-Wan, his frustration rising.

Anakin let go of him, then, turning away. Softly, he said, "Would you say it to the Duchess?"

Obi-Wan took a deep breath and let it out, reminding himself that Anakin was not entirely in his right mind. Though he only had himself to blame for that. "This...jealousy...you feel towards Duchess Satine – it's unbecoming of a Jedi." Of course, this entire display was unbecoming of a Jedi.

A flare of indignation through the Force, and Anakin whirled around to face him again. "I'm not  _jealous,_ " said Anakin."I  _want_ you to be with her. I mean, that stuff she believes about pacifism is complete banthashit, but she's still remarkable. And you deserve someone remarkable. Someone who's not a failure." His grasped Obi-Wan by the shoulders once more, but this time he slid his hands down Obi-Wan's arms until they came to grasp at his waist. "I want you to be happy, Master. I want..." He looked down at Obi-Wan's mouth very intently. "I wanna make you feel good."

The words were punctuated by pressure on a very private part of Obi-Wan's anatomy, though both of Anakin's hands remained firmly at his waist.

Somehow, between the shock of pleasure and indignation, he thought:  _what an utterly frivolous_ _way to_ _use of the Force._

That, perhaps, was what finally galvanized Obi-Wan to push Anakin away. "That's  _enough,_ Anakin." He swallowed, suddenly realizing how dry his mouth had become. "I advise that you reflect on your actions when you're sober, and think better of allowing yourself to get to this state in the future."

He made to leave, but felt Anakin tug on him with the Force. Not hard enough to hurt, or even to stop him if he put some muscle into breaking the hold. When Anakin spoke, he sounded years younger than he actually was. "Please don't go, Master." Fear and longing stood out starkly through the tangle of Anakin's emotions. "I promise I won't do anything else. So please, just...stay."

"I'm sorry, Anakin, but I don't believe you. Not when you're like this." With that, Obi-Wan broke the hold and walked out the door, fortifying his mental walls so that Anakin's emotions wouldn't follow him.

He needed to meet with Rex and Cody to better suss out their plan of action upon dropping out of hyperspace, but there was no way he could do so in his current...state. When he arrived at his own quarters, he sat down on the floor to meditate. It was longer in coming than usual, but eventually he cleared his mind, allowing his own emotions to flow out into the Force.

* * *

He didn't see Anakin until nearly ten hours later. Definitely sober, now, and having taken the initiative to start the meeting with Rex and Cody. He smirked when Obi-Wan walked onto the bridge. "Nice of you to join us, Obi-Wan."

So his former Padawan was going to pretend as though nothing out of the ordinary had transpired between them. That was a relief. "I apologize for my lack of punctuality in getting to a meeting we hadn't yet scheduled," he said easily.

Anakin rolled his eyes and dove back into the briefing.

Obi-Wan allowed himself to be absorbed by talk of strategy, and tried convince himself that nothing at all had really changed between them

**Author's Note:**

> This fic came into being as a result of two things I noticed while rewatching Season 2 of The Clone Wars. First: Ahsoka is not with Anakin as often as she was in Season 1, starting with her being assigned with guard duty in Holocron Heist. Where he went along with the Council's decision without protest, but he didn't look super happy about it. Second: In "Voyage of Temptation", Anakin is really agitated by Obi-Wan's ability to let go of his attachment to Satine. I wanted to showcase the side of Anakin which we saw in AotC, but which is only hinted at in the earlier seasons of TCW, and how these two things play into his deeper issues.


End file.
